30 January 2012

WEEK SEVEN. conversation by clair and sufi

"|The one who spends even those few moments of the waiting room in love has earned the worthiness to receive vaster love. 

What we do slowly, slowly becomes the creator of our lives and our souls.  What we are doing decides how we are creating ourselves ... decides the direction our soul will travel, the paths it will move on, the new worlds it will explore."

Osho from his book 'sex matters'.

~ ~ ~

I see in myself, my ability to be thinking to the future, for example : 

'when i get to the bar' then ; 'when i get my drink' then 'when i have finished this drink' moves to ' when i leave this bar' moves to 'when i have unlocked my bike' and then 'when i get home and be warm' and 'when i get into bed' and then finally 'okay, i am in bed now, when will i get to sleep!' ;) !!!!

....feels almost funny ;)  that i am doing this...rarely living the actual event but mostly in the moment that comes next.  but we all know tomorrow never comes ;)  there is always the next, not this, moment!!.  

as i write this, what am i thinking?  about putting my heart and soul into this writing/these words/allowing myself to become these words and the words to rain out of me like pure nature? 

when i am feeling most myself.  when i am calm and joyous....joyous right in the center of me.  and then all the joy grows flowers around it and all the sun shines down on every petal and seed. and rain then comes down on their water proff leaves.  does not spoil them like it does paper.  like life can rain down on me.  without my fear shilding it. wihtout by ever feeling of 'tomorrow' passing it by.

action precedes everything in life. I am what I act. Mostly I, myself, donot notice what I am acting (may be I am busy in noticing other's actions). But the act of acting is very important to notice. I have learnt that I have spent most of my time in my life thinking about past and future. I have always put my one foot in past and other in future (may be that's why I am pissing on my present). But If I donot control my present, I cannot control my past or future, per say.

On the other day, when we met, I sat there for a while after you left. Thinking that how we are linked with each other. As you said everything in this material existence of us is connected to each other in a way or other. And I learnt that I needed to discover our connection at the time when you were there, in front of me. Sitting calm, talking. I was able to see you. I was able to listen you. May be I could have connected myself with you during the moment when we were together and not after you left.


indeed,  it is the moment that is happening in the present which is the only moment livable.  we can drag the past and the dreamed future into our present path, word by word,  letter by letter, if we choose but it is often, as we say, 'dreamed' or 'dragged' and not really real.

i did a course yesterday which celebrated 'short moments'.  they didnt explain exactly what a 'short moment' was, but i thought it was probably to do with dividing life into lots of slithers of moments....dividing the movie or story up, so that it loses the ultimate meaning and just becomes a set of shapes, or colours or behaviour or emotions and i lthought i liked that approach :)

sometimes, as a progressive, i think one moment in our lives should be a decisive point about the other moment. I mean every next moment that is coming in our lives should be faster than the present one. Otherwise it will take ages to reach at the destination of human well being. But then, this is contradiction of what I said earlier. Like living in a moment. Either we can live in the moment, or we can think about coming moment.
Anyhow, this contradiction of thoughts is vital part of reaching towards a pure, sane, serene and tranquilizing thought process. One way is to absorb yourself into you, so that we can dissect the moments, as you have learnt in your training. Or we can change human conditions around us that can help everybody to have a serene moment in life. But then the question is, is utopia possible only in our minds or we can create a utopian world!
cheers and love

yes, the future is very appealing...'present' and 'future' are a bit the difference between water and alcohol, water is life and alcohol changes our perseption of it

....the grass is always greener on the other side ...and all that.

but  anyway, we dont want just a moment and then another moment, we want a whole timelife to keep under the covers in our little nest  ...  !  oooooh!?

yeah, you are right. we do not need just a moment of perfection. But a whole life. to have mastery over a moment is inevitable for having mastery over whole life. Most important thing is to connect the moments to grasp whole life. But I think that an individual alone may find it hard or difficult to connect the moment. That is why we need others. 
The other person in our life plays vital role in connecting the moments. here comes the importance of partner as a fulfilling of our otherwise shallow lives as individual. or may be we can know about moments of tranquilty on our whole life only when we are told by others or by our partner!!!!!

indeed, pur partner can be a very special person/infulence/love in our life.  but recently,  i did a course called 'balanced view'.  following  is an exert of the text that went with that teaching and which is close to thoughts that i have been feeling :

"Its like being the ultimate mother and father to yourself....it's as if you had a little child that your adored and you could only see its beauty and power...thats how you fall in love with yourself: where you can always see the increasing beauty, power and viltality"
Balanced view, from chapter ten
society has taught us that self love is selfishness. 
its not true :) 
we are our own best carer and lover!! and when we feel this most, our love reaches the outside..... :)

Yeah, self-love is pre-requisite for loving other. Here I am in agreement with you and OshoJ But my point is to better about how much you love yourself, the feedback comes from others. I don’t know but I think I can only understand myself with help of others. I can try to understand myself, but i can infer wrong about myself. May be i can understand myself better without other’s help, but then only that part off mine will be understandable which is not related to others.

I can see myself as I only through You. But I can love You only if I love I. Do you love someone in your life or you love yourself only? Just a random question:-)


hi sufi,
yes, our experiences with others form (and inform) us greatly...they are a mirror and a maze... madness or a miracle.

recently i parted from my boyfriend but i feel much love around me and i feel happy in ways that i didnt before the experiences i have had in these past years of unstable love relationships...

and so i have been formed and informed, prasied and prised, given and grieven, loved and lacked and now.....i stand here.

What a wonderful way of describing the feelings and experiences. What you wrote in last line about formed and informed, praised and prised, given and grieven, loved and lacked is the reality of a life that is exposed to human relationships. I wonder may this is what we can expect from others and may this is what we can have in return of all high and meagre values we exercise in our everyday lives. But is there any way to reduce meagre values and find more fulfilling ways of living.  And here comes the question enlightened human.............


thank you :)

everything is possible ... these patterns that we sew are not forever... weave your cloth carefully and strong and although it may look a little battered, ultimatley it will hold hold and hold.  and if it can hold your love then it will hold anothers.

thanks for writing sufi :)
clair .)

My pleasure Clair, it was lovely to exchange letters with you.




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